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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25535719">Failure</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/grayspider/pseuds/grayspider'>grayspider</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bad Things Happen to Keith (Constantly) [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Black Paladin Keith (Voltron), Canon Compliant, Comfort/Angst, Depressed Keith (Voltron), Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) Has Panic Attacks, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith/Shiro (Voltron) Angst, Mental Breakdown, Mild Language, Panic Attacks, Protective Shiro (Voltron), Sad Keith (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron)-centric, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Worried Shiro (Voltron), broganes, venting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:00:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,245</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25535719</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/grayspider/pseuds/grayspider</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the days following Shiro's return to the Castle of Lions after disappearing, he notices Keith pulling away from him and the rest of the team. He's eager to get to the bottom of it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Keith &amp; Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Shiro (Voltron)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Bad Things Happen to Keith (Constantly) [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1828009</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>179</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Failure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Bad Things Happen Bingo: Crying into Chest </p><p>This came to me suddenly, while I have two other drafts for this series lined up. I needed this as a vent fic, so Keith is my muse (Sorry Keith). </p><p>I really needed a scene of Keith dealing with the stress of becoming the Black Paladin so suddenly, so this was born. <br/>I wrote this as platonic Shiro/Keith, but feel free to interpret it any way you like. </p><p>As always, hope you enjoy it! Read safe and take care of yourself. Kudos and comments are always appreciated.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Keith has been avoiding Shiro. If the man is sure of anything, it’s that. His heart aches, tendrils of hurt snaking around it, and digging into it with nasty, dark thorns each time he sees Keith’s eyes dart downward when Shiro enters the room. He wants to reach out, grab him by the shoulders, and demand Keith to tell him what’s wrong. But he can’t do that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some may say ignorance is bliss. However, Shiro believes nothing could be further from the truth. Keith avoids his eyes and pads from the room as if he’s a dog with his tail between his legs. He seems skittish, shoulders tending as he bristles when Shiro gets too close. It takes him longer than it should to realize Keith may be afraid of him. Or perhaps he’s angry. Shiro is unable to blame Keith, but it doesn’t stop the ache, however. He prides himself often on knowing how to solve difficult problems and situations, but with Keith, he feels like he’s floundering in open water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy is unpredictable, as he always has been since he was a child, but this time he’s hardened from all of his battles and experiences. There’s a darkness to Keith’s eyes that leaves Shiro’s stomach churning with nausea. Keith is only a child, at the end of the day. His life has been out ahead of him with endless possibilities, no matter what the boy seemed to believe, but something about how rough Keith is these days has Shiro on edge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, he stops feeling sorry for himself and decides to do something about it. The tension between them is not only affecting their relationship but the rest of the team as well. They’re on eggshells around Keith, and it’s impossible not to notice. He’s unsure what has happened in the time he’s been missing, though he knows there’s a large amount of time to cover. The others have been more than willing to fill Shiro in on some details that he’s missed, but the process is slow and there’s only so much Shiro can process at once. What he’s able to gather about Keith comes in snippets.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Pidge informs him of the decision process between all of the Paladins to become the new pilot of Black. They describe the tension in the room as heavy, yet all of that tension radiated from one individual -- Keith. He went last, and Pidge says they weren’t surprised when Black stirred to life with Keith in the cockpit. Though they also note how exhausted, worried, and</span>
  <em>
    <span> scared</span>
  </em>
  <span> Keith seemed as he stepped out of the cockpit.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t accept this,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Pidge repeats Keith’s words, and Shiro’s heart only sinks further in his chest.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Lance is the first one to approach Shiro first with his concerns. It’s odd concerning the nature of Keith and Lance’s relationship, but he’s desperate to put the pieces together. He recounts nights he’d find Keith in the training bay late, only for him to pack up and immediately take Red out for his search. Searching, searching, searching; Lance says it’s been Keith’s entire life since Shiro went missing from his cockpit. Lance describes the bags that clung to Keith’s eyes at all times, the way his fuse was always just a few inches too short whenever Voltron or Shiro was mentioned.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Most of all, Lance expresses regret. This is the part that confuses Shiro the most, but Lance doesn’t offer any more details. Shiro doesn’t push him. Something must’ve happened between the team under Keith’s leadership, because the tension is evident, though Lance is the only one to affirm Shiro’s suspicions. Everyone seems to want to avoid Keith now that Shiro’s back.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>There is no time to skirt around Keith any longer. If he continues to avoid Shiro like this, it will start to affect the team. He can’t allow this to happen when they’re at such a pivotal position in their fight against the Galra. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finds himself outside of Black’s hangar. After he had searched the empty training bay and the kitchen, he figured this is the last place Keith can be hiding other than his empty bedroom. Which hasn’t been slept in for what appears to be days. The doors slide open, revealing the broad expanse of her hangar. At the center sits black, her imposing yellow eyes following Shiro as he takes a few short strides into the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes him a moment to see Keith, but the boy is curled up on the ground by Black’s front paw. He sits with his legs crossed, back to Shiro, shoulders hunched forward. If he hears Shiro come in, his posture doesn’t give it away. He sits perfectly still, looking incredibly small beneath Black, as Shiro takes a few daring steps forward. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has Keith cornered. The boy can try to leave, but Shiro’s in the way of the door, so he can’t go anywhere short of hopping in Black and fleeing the hangar through the hatch. Though he hopes Keith isn’t that desperate. He stands behind Keith, leaving a few feet of space between them. Now that he’s sitting closer, he can see the way Keith’s fingers are absentmindedly rubbing against the metal of Black’s claw. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No turning back now. Shiro clears his throat. “Keith. We need to talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Keith doesn’t flinch, much to Shiro’s surprise. Instead, the boy wilts as a soft sigh leaves his lips. He doesn’t move to turn to face Shiro, but he’s not turning to flee, so the leader considers it a victory. Though, he doesn’t respond to Shiro’s voice either, so he clears his throat and tries again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keith,” Shiro says sternly. He’s struggling to maintain his patience. “Something is bothering you. You’ve been ignoring me for days. We can’t splinter the team like this. You need to talk to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Keith scoffs, and the sound is dripping with so much venom that Shiro has to keep himself from bristling. The Paladin pulls himself to his feet and turns to face Shiro. He tries not to show how startled he is by Keith’s appearance. Exhaustion rests on his features in the form of a twisted brow, deep eye bags, and pale skin. “So this is about the team? Figures.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shiro cannot bring himself to understand what Keith means by that. “Of course it’s about the </span>
  <em>
    <span>team, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Keith. But it’s also about you, about us. What is going on with you? Why have you been avoiding me?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Keith’s fuse must’ve already been burnt to its last inch because Keith explodes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m avoiding you, because I’m just so </span>
  <em>
    <span>pissed</span>
  </em>
  <span> at you,” Keith hisses, though the venom is seeping from his words. Exasperation starts to replace it. “Because </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted me to lead. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> forced this on me when I didn’t want it. When </span>
  <em>
    <span>no on</span>
  </em>
  <span>e wanted it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Shiro isn’t mistaken, he thinks he sees unshed tears pooling in Keith’s eyes. The realization has a hole punched through his chest, the ache spreading across him like a massive bruise. He takes a shaky step forward, but Keith cuts him off sharply.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“But more than anything, I hate myself because I fucking failed. I didn’t want you to see how much of a </span>
  <em>
    <span>failure</span>
  </em>
  <span> I am.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keith,” he whispers, eyes softening. He needs to deescalate the situation before Keith flies off the handle, but more importantly, Keith needs to know that he’s being </span>
  <em>
    <span>heard. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Because just from the boy’s posture and voice, he can tell how much undue stress Shiro’s expectations have put on him. “You didn’t fail at anything—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached a hand out with his words, but Keith slaps his hand away, eyes wide. A son tears through his throat as suddenly, the boy can’t fight it anymore. The tears come cascading down, and Shiro can do nothing but watch as Keith comes apart stitch by stitch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>see </span>
  </em>
  <span>the way they looked at me. How much they didn’t trust me, and what’s worse is that I can’t even blame them. They never wanted me, Shiro, they only wanted you. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>begged</span>
  </em>
  <span> Black not to accept me, but she did anyway, and all I did was screw it up for everyone! And the worst part? You were gone. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I was alone. Again.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a pregnant, insufferable pause between them. It’s only broken by the sound of Keith sobbing. Shiro takes an immediate step forward, his heart throbbing in his chest as he hears the roar of his own blood in his ears. He’s never seen Keith come apart like this, not even when he was a sad, misunderstood kid. Not even when he was beaten to the ground by bullies. Not even when Iverson targeted him incessantly for being a behavior case. Keith never came undone, never showed that vulnerability until now. Shiro’s terrified. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Keith’s words make him consider what life was like for Keith after he disappeared at Kerberos. He’s never taken the moment to think about it. He regrets that at this moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry, Keith,” Shiro whispers. “I didn’t realize how much pressure I was putting on you, but I only did it because I </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> what you were capable of. What you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> capable of—“ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you don’t understand,” Keith cries in earnest, taking several staggering steps backward as he curls his arms around himself. He turns his face away from Shiro. “I gave it my all. I really tried this time. I mean I </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>tried. And I </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> failed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shiro swears his own eyes are burning as he watches Keith come undone. Sobs punctuate the pauses between the boy’s words, and his shoulders start to shake as his breath catches in his throat. He’s on the verge of hyperventilating. Shiro has to act </span>
  <em>
    <span>now. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He steps forward and clamps his hands on Keith’s shoulders. The boy cries out, thrashing against him in a feeble attempt to get away, but Shiro refuses to let go. He can’t let go of Keith in this moment of need, because after all of the times that this boy has saved him, now it’s Shiro’s turn to return the favor. He put far too much pressure on him, and Keith has to deal with the painful consequences of that. Shiro would be damned if he was gonna let him do it alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Undeterred by Keith’s angry crying and squirming, Shiro clings to him tightly, pressing Keith’s face into his chest, coiling his arms around the boy’s shoulders. “Keith, breathe,” he pleads to his younger brother. He holds him tightly, leaving no room to squirm away. “Please. Just take a breath. You need to calm down.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The writhing calms as Keith draws in a few sharp, trembling breaths. The boy’s hands curl into fists around the fabric of Shiro’s vest, and he lets him. The contact is grounding. Shiro tangles his human hand in Keith’s hair, scratching at his scalp and holding him close. The hole in his chest is aching as he watches Keith fall apart, sobbing openly into his chest as he clings to him for dear life. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m so sorry, Shiro,” Keith cries. “I let you down. I let everyone down.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Shiro vehemently shakes his head, though the boy can’t see it. He can’t accept the way Keith is belittling himself so. He had put a tremendous amount of pressure on Keith’s unsuspecting shoulders. No matter how much potential Keith has as a leader, it was too much too suddenly. And even if he faltered as a leader, Shiro could never be disappointed in him.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You never let me down, Keith,” he whispers, pressing his lips to the crown of Keith’s head. “I’m so proud of you. You are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> a failure.” He isn’t sure what else to say to Keith, though Shiro is suddenly aware of three fundamental truths.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>One, Keith deserves much more love than he’s been dished out. He knows vaguely of his life in group homes and foster families, how those conditions were less than favorable. It’s evident in the way Keith sneaks food from the Castle’s kitchen, in the way he only had a few items to his name when he entered the Garrison, or even how small he’s always been -- never with adequate nutrition. All of these are brandishing, haunting signs of the lack of attention and love Keith has received throughout his life. Shiro will not allow this cycle to continue. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The second truth is that Keith is far more vulnerable than he lets on. He’s never seen the boy fall apart like this, like sand slipping through his fingers, as tears cascade down his face and sobs wracked his whole body. The worry building at the base of Shiro’s throat is suffocating. It’s all he can feel and taste, because Keith has been struggling for so long to keep it together under this tremendous stress, and no one has been there for him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shiro </span>
  </em>
  <span>wasn’t there for him. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The third and final truth -- the most important one -- is that he will </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>leave Keith again. He swears on all of the stars and galaxies that nothing will tear them apart again.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’ve got you, Keith. I’ve got you,” Shiro coos as Keith continues to openly cry against his chest. He sits there, Keith tangled in his limbs as they sit on the floor of Black’s hangar. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Nothing is okay. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be in time. Shiro has a lot to fix. </span>
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